This describes how a carer (often the mother) helps a baby/child begin to develop Mentalization.

The mother responds contingently (see Contingencies for a definition) to her baby's emotional states and does so by mentalizing what might be motivating the baby to behave in the way he is - i.e. when the baby is crying she may conclude that

"He is likely to be angry, or upset, and that might be because he is hungry, or has a dirty nappy, or needs to be 'winded', etc..."

She then mirrors the emotional state that she imagines the baby is in the middle of -

She might frown at the baby, etc... BUT

She also marks this mimicking of what she thinks is the baby's mental state...

She deliberately engages the infant (using eye contact, and a certain amount of exaggeration - what is referred to as Ostensive communication) talking in a cheerful, sing-song voice, or holds the baby particularly gently...

This is as if to emphasise that:

"Wake up baby, I'm going to tell you something important about yourself!... This is what I think may be going on for you right now [say, anger] - this is you "being-angry", it is not me being-angry with you!..."

When this happens iteratively (again and again, hour by hour) it helps the developing baby begin to develop a sense that...

"I have a mind, and that mind can exist in different states - happy, sad, frightened, angry, etc..."

Which is the beginnings of mentalization...

Using this in our work:

We often speak of MARKING things out in our work (particularly OUR thoughts/guesses/hypotheses about the MENTAL STATE of the other person.)

In "marking" we are placing a "frame" or a "highlighter" around our communications at these specific times. This is just the same as when the mother deliberately uses "caricaturing" or other ways to show that she is "just painting you a picture of what I think that I am seeing in you!" - she is not BEING or EXPERIENCING those same things herself (a mother with a cross baby does not shout or roar back at it, although she may frown while talking in a sing song voice.)

This marking helps "wake us up" to the fact that somebody is trying to offer a "best guess at how I see what is happening right now" - and is exactly how the mentalizing practitioner tries to broadcast his or her understandings/imaginings and Intentional stance. The marking invites the recipient to stop and mentalize!

At the risk of overstating this, there is a sort of analogy with the use of specific rituals in some religious ceremonies - the ringing of bells, lighting of incense, etc, which serve to mark the presence of "extra levels" in the interaction at that particular point in time.