What is it?

This is really prompt for therapists/workers to be sensitive to how hard it is for families or young people to come into any kind of treatment relationship - they are "putting a lot on the table" and have a right to expect that we treat this with the greatest of care and respect.

Rationale - what is being bargained for?

• Maladaptive behavior provides some comfort and an illusion of control, safety and attachment.
• The choice to relinquish non-mentalizing behavior requires enormous courage from the child and the rest of the family.
• All children and families seeking help wish to change, and recognize the price they pay for their efforts to cope... BUT
• Even the most motivated are reluctant to give up the ways they know to gain safety, control and attachment

The BARGAIN:

"Taking the risk of attempting new ways to communicate, cope and relate in order to replace a non-mentalizing illusion of control and attachment with a mentalizing approach that offers the opportunity for real mastery and genuine attachments."