Empathy is literally "Feeling into" or having an "insiders' view" of a state of mind. There are obvious overlaps between this idea and our understanding of Mentalization - it is not possible to have empathy without mentalizing, although mentalizing extends beyond just being "empathic".

The young person needs to have the experience of the KeyWorker trying in a properly authentic way to understand their distress.

In Motivational Work, however, more than simply trying to understand (which in itself is a powerful and positive intervention, in keeping with Mentalization-based approaches), we aim to be accurate in our understanding; so that, in our communications back to the young person (checking my understanding), the young person experiences this:

"Yes, it really seems as though this person has got it - what it feels like to be me, here, now."

Common pitfalls:

• This involves avoiding trying to "solve" the dilemmas a young person presents us with (which can be challenging for an adult with a young person, or for mental health professionals or other caring professions in general!) This is NOT a directive stance - catching oneself telling the young person what to do is a powerful indicator that one is "off-model".
• It requires a scrupulous avoidance of imposing any kind of moral judgement upon what the young person is describing or showing.
• Remember that young people are anyway vulnerable to being overwhelmed by the emotional context, and are sensitive to perceived criticisms because of the NeuroDevelopmental changes occurring, as well as because of the great power-differences that they may perceive between them and an adult in a position of power and authority..